massage and olive oil

I have no idea where I am going with this. I have not had body work or touch for over a year, and recently had two massages courtesy of the student clinic in town and my ex-husband calling me to say there was a slot. Granted, it was odd to go to a site where I had had some decorating input, but I pride myself on our post ex-relationship, amiable and somewhat bittersweet. And I NEEDED a massage.

I cannot afford one on a weekly basis and have always thought, with mixed chagrin and total envy,o.k. say hatred, of Jackie Onassis who, it is said, had a nap and a massage every day. I would look damn good if I had a massage every day. Cellulite would disappear. I would not have lines. I would walk like a slyph.

but I don't.

And so, the lovely chance to have some students work on me, without cost thanks to generosity, was appealing. I creak, I ache every movement, my forearms are numb and wake me up at night. I tried really hard to be charming, nice and the "ex wife" "but knows her way around a massage "client. My hurts and aches and problems intake sheet is short, "stress" and I have no other complaints. Get on with it. They were great, especially the man who did tuning forks on my back and a diggery doo (how in the world to spell it) over my aura before beginning. I felt better, I creaked less, less hurt and I could feel my arms.

Of course, I wanted touch. I crave it. I miss it, I hug my dogs, wear warm and coomfy sweaters and get hugs whenever I can. It has been over, none of your business, how long since touch. ( read sex, fools) I think of the widows and people who do not get it and I swear to God if I am ever incapacitated, I don;'t want money, I want touch.

Sideways, I was in the elevator at a hospital today and two much elderly women came in. Both were on top of fashion, small camisoles, lace, cleavage, beads, embellishments, not the little old lady type. Works? I was noticing and noticing that I noticed. Should they have looked like grandmas? Should they show cleavage at 80? Or, damn it, should they get an applause for still liking fashion? If Mick Jagger can gyrate at over 60...why not show cleavage and an Abercrombie and Fitch sense at 80.

Back to me.

I want more than touch, I want you know what I want, and it is hard to be polite. But, a massage was great, and needed and necessary. At the end, I had to dress. darn. But, there I was, with the admonition, "take your time and get up slowly and I will meet you out front. " yeah, sure. I cannot sit more than a nanosecond on the table, sit up quickly and begin to get dressed. I have trouble turning off my mind. I need drugs with massage, I need a glass of wine, I need oblivion. But, I almost hyrdoplane off the table, I have so much oil on my legs.

It is enough to sit there and try not to worry as my glutes are massaged. I have been on a diet and am WORKING on being thinner, and so visualize cellulite pounded into submission. But, the oil! and, I have not shaved my legs! I cannot cross my legs while dressing, I slip off of myself in oily substance. I loved the massages, and my only comment, are "need a wipedown." Like a racehorse after a race, I need wiping down. Now, covered in sweat, well, as Paul Simon says, "slip sliding away...." Perhaps in the future.

Olive oil would be my choice for massage. In Turkey, the wrestlers oil themselves with olive oil before wrestling, grappling in eel-like fashion to gain purchase. Olive oil is wonderful, grassy, green to yellow, and can smell like a salad or nothing at all but the winds of the Mediterranean. I would love to be massaged in olive oil. Olive oil in the hair is lustrous, as a soap it is luxurious, as a lotion I want to have a dish of pesto and Alfredo. I love the leaves, the fruit, the wood, the smell.

So, cover me in olive oil. Knock out the knots, the fatigue, the accumulated lack of touch, rendering me as intractable as a piece of dry strata. Once hydrated, not in water of life, but the oil of forgiviness, of light, of life, of flavor, of color, I rise from the depths of the year and emerge.
More massages indeed, there is hope.