likes candles and walking on the beach

Interesting, over the last year I have read a lot of personals, and we all want the same thing: thunderstorms, a fun person, someone to cuddle with, lilkes music, likes to dance, every sport under the sun, travel, movies, being nice, intelligent...etc, etc. yeah, yeah, knee jerk Hallmark descriptors, culturally relevant.

Are we supposed to write that we are misanthropes? That candles make us sneeze, and warm beaches in Oregon are a myth? Of course not. But really, doesn't it become familiar, and old? Of course we all love to travel, ride our bikes, hang glide, go to wine tastings, music, concerts, dancing, and fine dining.

But folks what we all really want is someone to sleep next to, who brings us soup when sick, and is willing to eat simple food and just watch tv if need be. Why don't we just say that? Everyone who posts personals is really looking for the same thing, to appreciate and to be appreciated. Sex...the candles are just a set up. And music, ditto. Fine dining, well would we really want to eat in a dive? ( I do, but it has to be in another country on small chairs in the middle of a souk).

There are so MANY people out there who want a" slightly slender, fit, toned, average, all signs, multi religious tolerant, smart, loving, person to have fun with. " While walking on the beach in a thunderstorm hugging another slightly slender fit, toned person who has a 6 figure income and is, "easy on the eyes.". Of course.

So, I don't blame them and have crafted something similer.

But in the DNA of what clicks and what morphs, what goes mutant and what goes dormant in relationships, it still comes down to who you want to wake up next to in the morning, hair looking like hell, before you brush your teeth, lying on their back snoring...and you still like them, Love them over time, and willing to do so when sick, snotty, tired, hung over, and needing a haircut, or without make up. Get real.

We all have what I call a front door, back door style of life. Front door, nice, clean, shaved, waxed, depilitory, deodorant, and clean clothes of frontal landscaping. Backdoor, what you show more than company, the garbage that needs taking out, the lawn that needs mowing, and the stuff in the attic, or for people, the times you do not shave your legs, the quirks, oddities, flaws and snivvly noise you make when you sleep. Wearing the clothes more than once, maybe not changing your socks.

And this is the door to advertise folks, like a realtor who makes an offer but the house must pass inspection that the plumbing is not too bad, there is no dry rot, or that it can be repaired, the schmutzy paint job can indeed be cleaned up, new roof, new plants in the foyer, and cinnamon on the stove. In the midst of relationships we tend to forget, to turn to dry rot, and promise that next week we will clean out the attic. And, once we are listed again like a house on the market, whoops, out comes the new razors, the hair streaking, the new underwear if not new sheets, and a few extra pounds get worked on.

I tried very hard to keep that new house look, to continue to be groomed and landscaped. So the rehab isn't too significant. But there are a few remodelings that took place, some good, some to be returned to the original state. And a few layers of paint went on that I should burn off, like a refinished floor to be me. But not too bad all in all.

Now what do I write on that "be your own yenta" place? How true to the core? And how true to the core is everyone else? SO, I intend to ask to see the backyard first, not the landscaping. Strip search, check the laundry, look at the books behind the ones in front, and kick the tires.